I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
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