This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Randomize
