Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
