That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize