Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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