This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
