Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
