we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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