Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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