Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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