Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
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