I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
