I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
