We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Can I color on your dick again?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize