I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
