i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize