Im at strip club and am horny
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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