Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I need water and some morals
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
