I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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