I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
