y did u give ur computer a hand job?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize