you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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