AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
