If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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