i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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