I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize