I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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