i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
