I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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