Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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