yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
