what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
