I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
