he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
