no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
