you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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