She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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