Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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