My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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