No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
