And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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