Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Randomize
