Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
