normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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