so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
