She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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