i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
