Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Randomize
