I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
