East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
