he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
