You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
