I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
