He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
