Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Just pee around me
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
