But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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