I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
