Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
