i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
