they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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