You work out of a Hotel?
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
