hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
